Is it fate that I find myself typing away?

Alright, it's time for serious Carolyn to emerge for once. Because I have a little somethin' on my mind. Some DEEP THOUGHTS, if you will. And not the kind of deep thoughts that I usually enjoy, i.e. if you're ever walking along a road, always make sure to be carrying some sacks. That way, if someone comes by and asks you to help them carry something, you can be like, "no I can't...because I have these sacks." - Jack Hanley

No no no. This might even be deeper than that. And promise not to start yawning or crying or avoiding me when I say what it is I want to speak on. Yes, indeed, I would like to discuss fate. Because as you might've noticed, LOST has taken up a significant portion of my time of late (whoa, I'm even rhyming today....let me put down my plate, that cheese I must grate....bah, I'll never finish at this rate. Oh great.) And while re-watching all of the episodes with my family, I've started to look past Lock's freakiness to pay attention to what he has to say on the subject. And I like what I hear. See, as a sort-of science student, fate seems a little sketchy to me, even though I'm much more artsy than the average science student. I mean, it's altogether impossible to prove that it exists, isn't it? For example: a person meets the man of her dreams during a random encounter at a supermarket in Spain. It was fate for them to be together, right? But where exactly does compatibility become fate? And what then if they divorce after two weeks? Was it fate that they should share those two weeks of experiences together? Come on! I mean, there's circular reasoning if I've ever seen it! But still, despite it's seemingly weak foundations, there's still something to be said about it. Haven't you ever had an experience that you just can't shake afterwards, because you feel like it was meant to have happened to you that exact way, almost as if you dreamt it before. I sure have. And it's not as if believing in fate means you are buying into the idea that EVERYTHING is predetermined. My horoscope this morning said that I should remember that everything that will happen in my life was determined when I was born, and I should keep that in mind over the next few days....what a load of rubbish. But I do think that it's possible that there's a general path specific to each person's life, with many detours that lead back to that path.

However, fate definately seems to particularly apply to positive situations. For example, last week, I was offered a job, but then un-offered it due to circumstances completely outside of my control. I was pretty bummed out. Then this week, I was offered a dream job...I couldn't have picked something more perfect. "That explains why that other job didn't work out. This was meant to be", said my parents when I told them. But somehow, I doubt that they would've had the same mentality if I had told them that I couldn't find a job anywhere except McDonald's. People don't want to believe that the "hard-knocks" were preprogramed into their lives, as if in punishment. But the good stuff?? Bring it ON! Other people use the existance of fate to excuse their screw-ups. This generation, which has benefitted from the "chosen ones" from Star Wars to Harry Potter, is filled with people who say they didn't get a job because it "wasn't meant to be". Although this may be true, it is foolish to use the concept to divert blame.

Speaking of Harry Potter, incidentally, good old H.P. gave me one of my most lasting images of fate in my younger life. I was sitting at home watching Rosie O'Donnell on TV. She mentioned the Harry Potter books on the show.....this was long before they had reached any real popularity in Canada and I had never heard them mentioned. I never even read at that age, I was too concerned with more important matters....like, uh, cheerleading. (it's true). The books didn't even sound that good that she was describing, but I wrote out the complicated titles even so. Then I told my mom about them. I asked for them for my birthday, which was 8 months away. Normally such a request for a birthday present would've been completely ignored at that time of year, but my mom asked me what they were and took down the information. Weird. And then on my birthday, there they were. My mom had to explain what they were, because I had forgotten. Then when I started reading the first book, I hated it. I got as far as about page 16 everytime, and was beginning to wonder whether it was the most boring book ever written. Normally I would've tossed a book like that aside for something else, anything else, but I didn't. For some reason I pressed on. And here I am today, the biggest, dorkiest Harry Potter fan around. Case in point: yesterday my friend asked me what Dumbledore's full name is? My answer: Albus Percivus Wolfric Brian Dumbledore. I was right. Nice.

I know it sounds really corny and far fetched, but I really believe that I was meant to read the books. I was going through a rough stage in my life then, and I needed something to take away from what was a harsh everyday reality. And they did. Maybe that's part of the reason that I feel so loyal to the books...no, really it's because the books are fucking awesome! But regardless, that incident made me rethink my skeptisism regarding fate. The magic in the books might not be real, but there seemed to be something magical about how they gave me something positive and happy to latch on to. Similarly, it seems like everyday there's a talk show about how a woman happens to meet a lifelong friend at the pinnacle of despair. A woman I know met her current husband (who's amazing!) when he was the police man who rescued her from her abusive former husband. Pretty amazing eh? But then again, some things are coincidence. Or good luck. Or good karma. Or whatever....but basically, I find it comforting to believe that maybe, just maybe, there is something out there, helping us on our way through life. And even if that force isn't really there, as I believe they are trying to show on Lost, just thinking it IS there can have the same effect.